She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize