Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
