Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
