Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i came on her dog
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
