your parents love me but you hate me
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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