Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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