He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
