The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
