I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize