I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
