Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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