Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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