If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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