How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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