Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize