she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
