I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
