try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
