I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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