My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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