So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
