you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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