so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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