finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
