Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
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