I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
