I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
