I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
