u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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