please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
