Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
