i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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