she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
