On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
