even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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