the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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