i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
