I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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