Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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