Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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