i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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