she is the kim kardashian of front butts
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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