I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
