And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
