how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
