I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
