So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
