I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Randomize
