is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
