I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She told me I should be a condom model.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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