I'm really into asian looking animals
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize