I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
