there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
