i think my tv is drunk
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
