I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize