I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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