i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
