Where are you?
In a non slutty way
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
