Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
