she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
