Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
