I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
