nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
