I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
