I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
