Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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