No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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